Dark Heart
by Birdwell
8/20/00

Music has always been a fundimental part of my life. My life is peppered by memroies enhanced, inspired, and created by music. Two major epiphanies were directly caused by music. Without music I would not be the person I am today...and can I say? I might not have been alive today if it wasn't for music...not just rock and roll, but jazz, folk, Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi, R&B...everything has touched me profoundly. So I have sat here for the past week watching MTV and VH1...pondering my own top ten lists and why I love music...why ...just why.

I have toyed with the idea of being a rock and roller...I love singing...can't do it very well, byt I have always sung...made up little diddies on the school buus, sweeping anthems in wide meadows...and sad lullabies that rocked me to sleep. Music neve rleaves my ears. But to me music isn't just about playing it, or listening to it...it's something to me more involved than htat...it's a total expereince...that rips through your entire being..soul, body and mind.

Perhaps that is why I want to be a filmmaker. In everything thing i do...it is toward that one goal...making web sites for me is next door, making images...putting my images up for the world. Writing stories and poetry lt's me be a "director" and a "lyricist." What I wan tto do when I make movies is to combine all my passions...the images, the story, the music..the sound...in a total package that really hasn't been explored or used before.

So if I can't be a rock star...I'll make their videos.

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