9/10/00

This just in! The Surgeon General has just issued this statement: The leading cause of cancer is...LIVING. In response to this discovery the SG has outlined a plan to avert a possible epidemic. To deter any further out break of this epidemic cease and desist all living at once. This will eliminate all ramifications of this all encompassing disease. To protect all citizens from further spread...all those found living will be shot on sight.

Disclaimer: Please don't shoot your self, jump out of tall buildings, or otherwise stop living. The above paragraph was intended for a laugh and is not actually true.

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