Dark Heart
by Birdwell
6/19/01

My mum has already begun to knit the baby's blankets and booties. She asked me to pick from several sweater set patterns--adorable sweeters, precious bonnets, and cute booties. She still wary of the no mum I am not going to get married--but she's excited. She and my da are going to try to convince J and I to get married. She setting her self up for a plow into a brick wall.

Marriage is just not a good idea for me and J. Living together is one thing--marriage is another. It would be a train wreck...I don't want a failed marriage and a nasty divorce. Trust me folks, I know my self explicably--it would not be a good idea.

My mum also told my extended family. The most conservative side, the side I feared the most back lash from, isn't as "upset" as I thought they would be. Apparently I am not the black sheep...offwhite to a dingy white maybe, but the black sheep slot is spoken for by my wayward aunt.

So far I have three people tell me it is going to be boy (based on dreams, readings, and pendulms) and two that say it's a girl (dreams). Can't wait for that tell all ultrasound....let's hope the baba isn't modest. I really really want a girl. What can I say girls have more fun...and I really don't know what to do with a boy--grin...can't wear frilly dresses, bows int he hair, or pig tails.

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