Dark Heart
by Birdwell
2/13/02

I'm back!! And I brought with me an adorable little man...that had to be dragged out of my womb kicking and screaming. But the important things is that he is healthy and beautiful...and I'm not saying this cause I am his mother. Many babies are born winkled and ugly...and it takes a few days to become a cute little baby. This little charmer was cute the moment he was born. He's got cheeks that a chipmonk would envy.

Birth story below, if you don't want the details ton't read.

I went to the hospital Saturday morning at 6am for the induction. I got hooked up to all the IV's, monitors and whot not and at 7.30 they started the Pitocin drip. The nurses were wonderful..I LOVED my nurses. After about 15 hours or so of contractions (no Epidural mind you--I wanted this birth to be as natural as possible)...I had only dialated about 8cm. The doctor came in and recommended a mild epidural to help me relax (at this time the contractions were very intense and right on top of each other)--she also suggested the possiblity of having to have C-Section. After those 15 hours, I was very tired...I had managed the pain so far very very well...(it's all about breathing and relaxing and surrendering to the pain--lot's of focus)...but I was at the point were I couldn't relax or focus any more. And with the possiblity of a C-Section, I took the mild epidural.

A few hours later, I began pushing...and a few hours after that Mic still wouldn't come out . Apparently, I have spiny spine (or something like that) so Mic was not coming out that way, even with a vacuum. So, off to the Operating Room for me.

This is where Mic was literal pulled into the world kicking and screaming. I don't remember much about the birth, I passed out a few times because the doctors literally pushed all the breath out of me pull Mic out. Thankfully my mother and J were able to be in the OP with me too. I "saw" the baby once he was pulled out (I use quote because I don't remember seeing him--all part of that not being able to breathe bit)...but once we was cleaned up and wrapped up they let J hold him and I got to see him (for the first time that I can remember)...I asked J to hold him up close so I could smell him. I was pretty out of it...I think the scent was a primal thing).

It wasn't exactly how I planned it. I would have like to go into labor naturally and have Mic vaginally. But all's well that ends well. And I am pretty pleased with the outcome. I am still pretty sore. I have both the trauma of a C-Section and a Vaginal Birth...so I'm all swollen and bent over. My doctors and nurses were very impressed with my stamina. The doc said she had never seen anyone manage their labour pain as well as I did, especially on a Pitocin drip (those make the contractions especially heavy). I was the talk of the floor.

Thankfully I was able to go home a day early, I would have been released later on today, but I felt well enough to recover at home. I was mobile and eating solid foods...I saw no reason to stay. The food is bland, the air is dry, and I can take better care of Mic home and in the care of family.

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