5/19/03

A thought at 1.12 am: I want the friends I spend time with to be like slipping on a knit glove....snug and warm, yet stetchy. I don't want to worry about offending them by merely being my self. And I hate the fact that our "closest" friends are people I have to tip-toe around and not be my self with. It's insane. Is it really friendship if our relationship is like that?

But I don't reject friends (rather I don't wish to)...especially ones who are sweet and generous, even if their fatal flaw is that they reject the true me. And how would I explain this to them--without sounding like a complete ass. Besides, I adore their little girl and I want her and Micci to grow up together. And I have no other friends with kids anyway. I can count the friends I have that are my knit gloves one hand. All other have fallen by the way-side because I reject their rejection. Can a friendship thrive in such conditions?

This above all: to thine ownself be true.

Deep thoughts aside, I am still reeling from that delicious Risotto; and a nice long talk with a true bosom friend and a wonderful hubby made me feel at peace. Although I can't sleep because I am reading the fantastic Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and perhaps also partly (a small part) due to those aforementioned deep thoughts.

Sigh.

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