4/22/07

Undervalued Much?

Recently, there have been a number of articles in the newspaper or on the internet that tells me and ALL mothers out there that raising children is not important and you are a fool for devoting yourself to child rearing. You need to work, putting yourself first, and any ol' person can raise your children for you and they'll be just fine. Telling ME that I am wasting my time.

Karen Heller from the Philedelphia Inquirer reviews the delightful book, The Feminine Mistake and seemingly agrees with the author's premise: Raising your children full time is meaningless and will cripple you financially and emotionally.

I understand that not working outside the home I am putting myself at financial risk if god forbid I became divorced (got GREAT life insurance baby). But the way it is presented under values my life's work. It may just be merely 20 years of my life of active intense child rearing, BUT that 20 years will have been MY MOST IMPORTANT. One of the quotes used by the reviewer spot lights the writers undervalued assessment of my life's work, "Unless you are the mother of an Einstein or a Madame Curie, which most of us is not, your own work, if it is significant, is probably more important than raising your kids." I think both the reviewer and the writers fails to realise is each member of our world is like a pebble dropping into a still lake, ripples are made and each ripple affects everything around it. Einstein, Madam Curie, Alexander Bell, Thomas Jefferson, Maya Angelou were NOT raised in an isolation bubble...THEY themselves were influenced by the ordinary people around them. Each one of them is important too.

It is also important as a SAHP it is vital to keep your own identity separate from mother so when your children leave home you are not left an empty shell. It is important to have savings and interests that can lead to income if you need it. But DO NOT for one minute think what you do as a mother is any less important than what someone who has a "real" job is.

Labels: politics

10:51:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 2 Comments

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2 Comments:

I completely agree.
hello btw :-)

By  Anonymous, at 12:18 AM  

The older I get the more I know how wrong those writers are. Staying at home with two year olds teaches you how to laugh off the little stuff, and prepares you for when they're teens. Raising teenagers teaches you how to let go of the little stuff, (again--it's a constant process) and to love who they're growing into, to see ahead at the times they cannot. It's the being right there all the time that teaches you patience, which gives them confidence.

I am an infinitely kinder, more patient person for having stayed home to raise my four kids. They are infinitely better for having always known I was present (and watching, should they think about blowing it.)

There was the time one kid wouldn't behave for one middle school teacher. I told him it sounded like he was bored in her class, and that it was hard to sit still? Yes! He was so glad I understood. Well, then. I offered to come volunteer in that classroom. He thought about it for about two seconds in gratitude, and then it dawned on him what having his mommy there would do for his social standing. He was suddenly stunned in horror, while I in amusement watched it all play across his face.

The teacher laughed later and told me that that was her all-time favorite parental response to her report of a kid causing her grief. He was a perfect angel after that.
He knew he couldn't hold my time in the office over my head, because there was no office job. I could come every day the whole school year, and the unspoken, cheerful threat was that I would.

Good as gold after that, good as gold.

By  AlisonH, at 3:56 PM  

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