5/21/01

So a year ago tonight my life took a sharp right turn...literally. Last year my baby car was smashed into bits. It seems even my body remembers--I woke up this morning with a moderate neck ache. I've been thinking alot lately about this "anniversary" and what it did to my life. I don't know for better or for worse. I just know that it spun into motion events that would impact me and my future more so than anything that I experienced to date.

My mum is "disappointed" with me because I didn't honour her on Mother's Day. I haven't talked to her in two weeks. I just know she's upset, because I know my mother. But I don't know why she feels the way she feels. I don't know what she believes. Does she realise how much she hurt me? And how severe and final her action was?

Because of this "anniversary," I realise that it has been a year since my mom told me I was no longer daughter and that she didn't want me any more.

I can't talk to her about this. Maybe because the last time I did, she laughed at what she did. Because I know she reads this blog, maybe I can reach her this way. I don't know if our relationship can be repaired or if it will ever be the same. I don't know if she'll even take this seriously.

Trust fate to turn this date into a positive, happy wonderous date. I offer Bono and Ali my deepest congradulation on the birth of their son. Happy Birthday sweetie.

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