1/1/07

Tears for 2007

San Antonio always has big New Year's Celebration. Everyone either goes downtown to gather around the Tower of Americas or they stay home and set off their own fireworks.

This year the fireworks poping around my house just reminded me of bombs and gunfire and the reality that both of my brother's will be going to Iraq this year. One is an intell analyst and the other is a combat medic. I am very scared for them. I worried most of last night what I would, what my family would do if we lost one or both of them.

What scares me most is a dream I had just a bit over ten years ago about both of them being in a war and one of them dying. Most people tell me oh it was just a dream...and I tell myself that too...but I had this dream while I was awake. It took me a very long time to "recover" from that dream. I spent the next month walking around in a daze--how do I gone on normally knowing what I saw and felt. No matter if it comes true or not I KNOW what it feels like to lose a brother--even if it was for a few minutes in a very real dream.

And just guess which one I dreamed I lost--yep the combat medic--the one most likely not to come back. He's coming back to the States from S. Korea next week. I am not sure if I'll be able to let him go when it's time for him to go to his Post.

So last night with the sounds of bombs and gunfire in the air I just cried. Praying to Jesus to keep them safe and not really getting an answer just a warm presence that He was there for me.

Labels: holiday

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