5/31/00

I'm baack. Got back from holiday with my best mate and her extended family. Her grandparent's are fantastic people--really made me feel at home. Swam in a lake....okay I floated...I am not much for swimming...but I love a good float...on a nice big purple inner-tube. I am sure that's not how you spell it shrug.

It was so relaxing sitting on the back porch facing the lake, listening to all the birds chatter and sing. Watching clouds float by between opeings in the leafy tree...getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. They love me! Too sweet I guess...grin. 3 weltering bites on one arm in 3 seconds....5 total...before I ran in to the house like a sensible person.

It felt good to escape the city. I really--more so than ever--want/need to get out of this city. There are too many reminders of my family here. I just want to leave and truly start anew. That's not possible/feasible..sigh...but hopefully in a year or so...I'll dust my feet off on this city. I see a plane and feel a sinking feeling in my chest...gotta get out of here.

Truth is though, I am soo scared. Can I admit this here?? My car was my security....and it goes to show how insecure this world really is. You can take nothing for granted. I feel like I am floundering...I need a new car...luckily by Saturday...and positively by Tuesday...I am going shopping fo rone again tommorrow..armed with a cheque. Hopefully, the car gods will have pity and mercy and allow me to get another one. In car buying it sucks to be young and beautiful...grin.

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