5/20/00

One year ago I moved in with my best friend and my other best friend's boyfriend...thus in total there were 4 of us living together. It ended about six months later...life never turns out the way it's supposed to. College proved too overwhelming...and too disappointing. Red tape and bullshit amongst intense isolation and pride forced the last off us out of college. I had dropped out first...a year or so before. (I would have graduated this month) I don't regret it at all. But when I do feel the creeping of what if, I let it come and realise where I would be. Not online that for sure. I think school would have defeated me. Left me some shell of what I used to be. But I am tangenting: all 4 of us dropped out for various reason...mainly due to disappointment. My best friend and her boy friend moved back home and my other best friend and I remained to finish off the lease and eventually our friendship. I'm glossing over alot of important details.

One year later...my best friend and her boyfriend are broken up, leaving my best friend to pick up the pieces of what remains of the three years they were together. The friend that stayed eventually left me too...so I came here...we don't talk much anymore. I feel too much bitterness. What sparked all this? I am watching Reality Bites. I love this movie. And it always gives me the willies. I try very hard not to see myself in this flick.

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