1/10/06
Comings and Goings
Yesterday was interesting. We said good bye to Craig, as he is moving to Korea next week. And I got a call from my long lost Nana.
It was hard saying good bye to Craig. I am happy for him and scared to. He was really sweet to the kids. He gave Mic a hair cut (Mic will only let Craig cut his hair). And he gave Lorelei the necklace she kept fondling. We got some great pics of them all.
While P came over to give me some much needed adult conversation, my Nana called. It was a very short call. And most of it I had already heard from my mom, but it was SO NICE to hear her voice. I never felt close to my real father's family, even though I tried to...I think it was all the bad history with my Father that may get in the way. Shrug.
P and I finally did get out last night after J came home from a meeting. It is definitely confession time. It was kinda sad, knowing that she is going to be moving in a month. I am afraid she won't come back. I'll have no more good mates here in town. I am not even sure how close I'll be able to get to the people I am beginning to meet through my knitting groups. In any case, I won't be able to be truly Birdwell with them...they don't get it like P and Q do. They have been my best mates for almost 14 years. We've been through so much together. I am setting up a blog for P so she can keep us updated...too bad Q doesn't blog any more!!!...I never know what's going on with Q.
I know no one is abandoning me...although it does feel like it. I just have those Issues. Sigh. I miss my bekanterkries...(sp ck P??) I just hope I can handle it better than I did when my mom left.
And part of my issues, do stem from my Dad's family and what happened when I was little. When my mom and dad divorced, he got custody because he had a better lawyer. I was severely neglected and some bad things came out of that. I was nearly put in foster care because my grandparents (his parents) couldn't deal with a 3 or 4 year old because they were going through some legal/medical drama. Thankfully my mom was able to get custody of me then and forever. But that early time, it has a huge impact on my life and everything that happens. That's just the way it is...young kids may be able to survive the worst, but are also very impressionable and you just can't unmake something that happens to them...it hardens there forever.
Yeah, it's been a hard day.
3:37:00 PM -- Email --
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