2/16/08

Pandora's Box

He is late-nearly a year and a half late. Typically, He pops into my life every 5 years--give or take. I expected Him last year or perhaps the year before. Not that I look forward to His sudden, inexplicable appearances. However, from time to time I wonder what He is up to. Is He married? Has He seen his father before the elder forgot Him? The fact that He never acknowledged His grandson didn't really surprise me. Why should an absentee father be a present grandfather?

Now that He has popped up--even if it was in a weird generic email--I am loath to open the door or the proverbial box. It's one thing for me. I expect the hurt. I expect Him to disappear. However, my children deserve a grandfather that is present. A grand father that does not disappear. My step-father has earned the right to spend time and affection with my children. He was there when I had chicken pox; he was there when I broke my arm; he was there for my many trips to the ER; he was there for prom; he was there for my first straight As. He never let a birthday go by without an acknowledgment. Although my step dad and I have had our disagreements and he was the last person in the world I wanted to talk to or be with; he was always there when I did need him. My step dad was there to greet my grand children and meet my husband.

Now that He has opened the door again--He's also let in all the hurt and confusion that is associated with Him. I know I don't want that pain to touch my children, but why do I even consider allowing it to touch me again. And why do I cling to the one meaningful thing he gave me?

This all has put me in a foul, dark mood.

Labels: family, injustice

4:16:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 1 Comments

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1 Comments:

i know exactly how your feeling, "bob" just appeared the other day out of know where.. wierd.. and expects things to be just fine and wonderful..

owell, its theyre loss.

-jess

By  Anonymous, at 4:53 PM  

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