6/1/00

Can I say I am scared here?? Today is moving day. I am also waiting to be approved for a loan to buy a grey 97 Nissan Sentra...pretty, sparse, good on the insurance, but more than I paid for my Baby Car. I am on the cusp of freaking out. I don't like this feeling....haven't had it since was 15...it was horrible then and I don't need it now. I was jolted awake my a series of car related dreams...getting that blasted loan through.

I dream alot...don't know if it's more than average...but I dream every night (or I remember them everynight)...lately I have been having distrubingly real dreams on this man, not of the intimate nature, but weird none the less. All of this is happening so fast and furious is making it hard to breathe. I am soo thankful for the friends that have supported me these past weeks.

I desperately want my life to settle down just for a moment--HA we all want that. But really, I need it too...this is almost too much for me to cope with. I know things happen for a reason...and that there's a time and a purpose behind EVERYTHING. But I just need confirmation I guess...something in stone. Shrug. So it goes...and I'll survive this like I survive everything else.

I bought fudge today, Oreo chocolate fudge, YUM. Shopped a bit too...comfortated a mate whose emotional love life is in shambles. Argh MEN...don't they KNOW....how good we are for them. I mean, my mate was the PERFECT girlfriend...she cooked for him, bought him stuff, paid for things, and wanted to have sex with him all_the_time. Yet he bolts, with no real excuse. Stupid! And then there's me...a girl who is independent....no maintaining here boys. Doesn't need to be called every day...sex occasionally...big hearted...and where am I?? Manless. Sigh. Okay rant off. Smh.

Well, wish me luck with the car and the move and everything.

What do they say...take it one day at a time and breathe??? In and out.

6:10:00 AM -- Email -- Link -- 0 Comments

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