8/27/06

A Long Whine--Guiness anyone?

As one might surmise today has been rather pissy to put be in such a grand FEP mood. (FEP is an acronym for fucking evil pissy for the newbies--I enjoy my "F" acronyms).

With Lorelei fully entering the terrible twos much faster and with greater determination than Micci, I am caught wholly unprepared. She was up very very early today--making all sorts of messes. I need to start locking her door at nights. Maybe that will be Tuesday's project: operation clean the office so we can barricade daughter in her new room.

It's been a quiet weekend--as in no phonecalls except from the hates telemarketer or Citibank. ARGH. So a tad lonely.

Despite the kids running me ragged, I do have great kids. Micci frequently tells me he loves me and both kids are giving me gifties through out the day--showing that they love me and remember me.

I'm a bit down---feeling neglected, feeling powerless, feeling overwhelmed, and feeling unmotherly. This has been an unbelievably hard year--and I am so glad it is nearly over and I am praying to each and every god that next year will be better. I feel it's beginning to become my fault because I am not a better home manager and mother. Right now it's like being in a dark dank hole...with very slippery, steep sides. Ah they call that a well don't they.

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