10/5/06

Golden Goddess

I read Dooce every day. She is my favourite. If I believed in such things I would create a golden statue in her image and worship it. She is a ten times better Mom than I am. She's a gifted writer. And sheis very very brave. Oh and she's hilariously brilliant.

Today, was her monthly Leta newsletter...I always look forward to those. She wrote again of her fight with depression and it's rearing it's ugly head. I wish I could give her a hug. I feel the same way sometimes.

"Often I am ashamed that I am not the mother I thought I was going to be."

I don't know what is wrong with me most days...why I turn into a screaming monster and bring my children to tears.

I am going to the doctor at the end of the month and I am not sure really what is wrong with me. I am exhausted, irritable, and depressed--and it seems that it all feeds on the other. I have been doing research and it seems that I may be suffering from low iron. I don't know--I hope so it's easier to treat than a chemical imbalance.

I hate that my house is a mess and that my throat hurts from yelling and I can't seem to muster the energy to do anything about it. At least Dooce has a clean house.

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