6/13/06

Homesick and just plain sick

I am really missing J right now--it's not that I didn't before now--but I am now REALLY missing him. I am beginning to feel really lonely and isolated. Even though I am surrounded with family--it's of course not the same. J. is my husband and nothing else compares to that.

And I am beginning to get the kids cold I think. I took some medicine to hold off the symptoms...and I am praying that it runs its course before J arrives on Sunday. I don't want to greet J with green stuff coming from my nose.

I also wish I could give Craig a hug right now. Poor guy had his first death this weekend and it hit him hard (he's in Korea and a combat medic for those who get mixed up). Luckily for Craig it was not very gruesome, as it was a lightening strike not a battle wound, but still--it's death anyway it happened. I can't believe my sweet little brother has this sort of stuff to deal with...I am beginning to worry about what he'll go thru when he actually gets to a war zone. I mean I just looked at what he chose to do as very brave, heroic, noble, and amazing...now I can't think but feel horror at the things I know he will see and have to deal with. I am wondering how this will change him.

My mom went to Build-A-Bear shortly after the boys shipped out--made a monkey dressed in fatigues for Phil (no brainer there) and a puppy in fatigues for Craig. Well she spent a few hours holding that Puppy Craig really tight. I can't imagine how she feels--it's her baby. Heck I can hardly imagine Micci 7...never mind an adult dealing with death like Craig.

Right now I wish I had stuffed animal to hug. I have been hugging the kids alot...but they want to eventually be let go.

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