1/24/10

Weird Dreams

The past couple days I have been having weird dreams...the kind that make you get out of bed because you can't go back to sleep. My dreams are something to pay attention to. If I have nightmares it's because there's something troubling me. Many times my dreams come true. Most times they are just fun and weird: me exploring things I like that I can't explore when I am awake (like my dreams about famouz bloggers).

I always have had recurring dreams, sort of like serials. I spend the first half of the dream confused because I can't remember what happened in the dream before. I haven't had a real night mare in YEARS...I only have one kind and it's harrowing. Even when I am awake I don't like thinking or talking about it, because it's just that disturbing. For awhile now, I've been having weird dreams about high school; always running late for class or realising that I have been skipping for weeks and I have SO MUCH to catch up on. I am always very afraid of what my teachers will say or do when I waltz in the classroom door.

Ever since I got married and had kids I have wondered am I dreaming? Will I wake up from this wonderous perfection?

This week has been extraordinarily tough. Almost as tough as Austin I, when I left home for the University of Texas at Austin. Back then a lot of illusions where shattered and hard truths where born out of the ashes. It was like a building falling down around me. This week felt like getting hit by a two by four, then before I could get up I get hit by a re-bar, and finally when I regain consciousness I get hit by a brick. Of course all that fun-ness let my deep buried rage (the WHY I named this blog "Black Heart") bubble over. It was a fun hurricane while it lasted let me tell you. Thank god I have amazing friends and an awesome husband.

So really it's not surprising that I have been having weird dreams and insomnia. But it did make me wonder about this whole what if I was really dreaming? And what if I woke up back in 1995 (or whenever) and I remembered everything? What if? And what if I could prove in small ways that what I dreamed actually happened. Things I know now about back then that I didn't know back then.

The mind boggles.

I tell you want, if I woke up and I was still in high school, I would dump early morning seminary and get to sleep before 11, because the sleep deprivation took nearly 10 years to recover from. It was 5 years before I could close my eyes without instantly falling asleep. I was like a bleeding parrot: darkness the room and zzzzzzzzzz.

Labels: dreams

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1/13/10

I have a WASHER!

(Cue: Choir of Angels)

It touched my driveway at 10.30 am CST and was put in it's puttin' place at 10.31 am!!! Woot!!!! About 30 minutes later, after I took pictures and plurked and emailed everyone my excitement, I loaded it with underwear-breaking it in nicely.

Lorelei tried to share my excitement she really did, but let's face it she's five, "It looks the same! This is dumb; I am going back to bed." She doesn't get grown ups.

But look at all the dials and OPTIONS!!

Last one only had Delicate, Normal, and Heavy Duty. Hot or Cold wash. Water level. I am dizzy with options!! So excited to have done laundry IN MY OWN house with dirty unwashed hair!! No getting dressed up to go to the laundry mat!! No carrying 8 baskets of laundry in and out of the car!!! Yay whoooooo!!!

Lorelei WAS excited, though, at being able to help me do laundry again. We got three loads done today. I've got like 6 more to do. But I will spread that out a bit. Don't want to break my new baby, um erm machine...

Last night, I was so excited about my washer, I hardly slept a wink--tossed and turned and had weird dreams. Had yet another weird famouz blogger dream, so this brings the total up to FIVE! Three with Dooce and now two with Derek Powazek. So strange...I didn't even read his blog before I went to bed (okay I read his wife's). But I went to bed thinking of something TOTALLY different (and boyo would it have been a MUCH better dream if it had been starring Asher). What's weird, is that all my famouz blogger dreams are weird day in the life dreams. I just happen to be at their house talking to them about random every day things. All I am waiting for now is my dream about Jason Kottke or Laurell K. Hamilton (although THAT would be an AWESOME dream). We could totally compare notes on our love of long haired men...hee hee.

Labels: bliss, dreams, Kid Antics, weirdness

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1/20/09

This is a Good Man

James Earl Jones has always been a hero of mine. This just cements my opinion of him.

Just As It Should Be.

What I wouldn't give to be able to have a good conversation with this man.

Labels: dreams, hero

1:46:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 0 Comments

1/5/09

Cold, Dreams, and Other Things

I am very relieved and happy to say that this year is already looking up. I was so high on cloud nine after an awesome email this morning, some rough stuff only dented my resolve today. Yip!

It was very cold today...so the laundry didn't get done (the machines are in the garage) and tidying was ignored. But I put away my Christmas mantle and dusted, re-hung some pictures, and did dishes!

Yesterday, I nipped (as fast as one can with two rascally children) into Half Price books to satiate my newest obsession: Charlaine Harris. Yes, she writes vampire books. I bought three of her Southern Vampire books--taking my grand total to 4. I devoured two yesterday and am half way through with the third, which unfortunately was not the next book...I skipped two books...thankfully I am not totally lost as Ms. Harris fills in backstory. I also picked up three more Laurell K. Hamilton books--I now only need two more to complete my collection. Now, I have read all over her books numerous times, but I hate not having all of her books at my finger tips when I am in the mood for...different things. Hmm, that sounds dirty. It's not meant to be--well maybe slightly--her books have a wide range of characters, plots and magic. There.

Speaking of Ms. Hamilton, I have been having very weird dreams lately. Mine tend to be vivid and usually takes me a moment after waking up to decide if they are real or not. But they are always therapeutic. Well, this past week I dreamed of Laurell and her husband, I was asking them for advice and if they knew where my friend Ryan was. I miss him you see, haven't seen him in years and bizarrely I thought that since they are Wiccan as Ryan is they would know_where_he_is. Yeah that works, nevermind they live in St. Louis and Ryan (last I knew) lived here in San Antonio. Now, it isn't as weird as it seems, because I read Laurell's blog daily, and I had read it right before I went to bed and I have been wondering lately what my big Nordic bear of a friend is up to. (It just occurred to me to look him up in the phonebook, but he has a very common name though...maybe....hmmm, I have a lot to thing about now). As strange it is to dream about Laurell K Hamilton because of her blog, I also had a dream about Dooce: I dreamed about toys her daughter may have got for Christmas, probably the same Princess toys Lori got. And sadly, it is NOT the first time I have dreamed about Dooce. Yeah, I really do read blogs A LOT (perhaps too much--oh well). I also had a very therapeutic dream where I screamed at all those that had wronged me. So therapeutic, I might use this in a future meditation session. Grin.

Onto other things, my lap top should be here any day. I am looking forward to using it to blog more and write more. Sometimes the muse strikes when I am away from the computer, esp. when I am snug in bed and don't want to leave the covers. I have identified myself as a writer for most of my life and when a writer IS not writing, it feels wrong and off. And it's damn time for me to get over my writing quirks and issues.

To quote one of my favourite songs:
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Labels: cleaning, daily rant, dreams, writing

10:33:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 0 Comments