2/5/10

Push!

Lorelei, age 3

One of the things you don't really understand when you become a parent, is how much time kids spend PUSHING their limits, and yours. Somedays I imagine the kids scheming, "Just how far can I push the limit of what I am allowed. Just how far can push Mommy." I also imagine the two kids conspiring: who gets to be the holy terror this week.

We have spent most of Micci's life teaching him to eat new foods. He's as picky as me (my mom gleefully calls this Karma). We have a three bite rule in our house (three bites will tell you if you like a new food. You are also expected to eat foods we know you like.) and it's just been recently that this rule isn't accompanied by tears and yelling.

Lorelei has always been my good eater. We don't have to get after her to eat, she'll try a new food with relish and take her three bites without arguing. She is my relief.

Just when I think mealtimes will be tear free. Lorelei has to up her game.

Monday, she refused to eat food she normally likes. And to give Karma HER due, Lorelei inherited from me: stubbornness. Unlike Micci who would eventually before bedtime eat his food, Lorelei refused. Well, there is only ONE Stubborn Queen in this house and that's ME! So, Lorelei had to eat her Monday dinner, for Tuesday breakfast, Lunch or Dinner....she had to eat it as her next meal. Well, she snuck cereal Tuesday for breakfast. So she had enough to sustain her through breakfast and lunch.

"I will not eat that yucky food! I hate potatoes!" said the girl who loves potatoes more than anything.

Tuesday night and she takes Monday's Dinner out of the 'fridge, asks me to heat it up and she eats exactly HALF!

We get to continue this fun game into Wednesday, YAY! We sent her to bed straight after dinner.

Wednesday, I am smart and she gets no cereal...so her stubborness only lasts till late afternoon, when she finally spends the next two hours finishing off her diced roasted potatoes.

This week has completely exhausted me. But ya know what? I WON!!!

I think...

Labels: Kid Antics, kid pics

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1/28/10

Exercise and Food

This post brought to you by Black Eyed Peas and Pump It. I have been on a Black Eyed Peas kick this week

The workouts haven't become fun yet, and I am struggling to put them into my schedule. I am missing days...not good. But, I am noticing results, firmer legs, arms, waist, and much to Jamey's delight boobs. One big change is my diet.

Normally I eat when I am hungry and I eat based on cravings. (I used to skip breakfast) I never gave a thought to what the food need to do for me, just what tasted good. But now, I need to make sure I am fueling my self for the workouts. I have to record my calories and hit the amount of calories I need based on my exercise plan. Because I am trying to build muscle, I am more aware of the protein I eat (rather NEED to eat). I also need eat food that build blood. I have a blood disorder (thankfully mild) that effects how I exercise. Many times I get insanely dizzy because all the oxygenated blood is going to the muscles and not to the brain. Not good. So I am eating more iron, folic acid, and the B vitamins.

Lunch is especially hard. I like quick easy to prepare lunches. Day time is usually crayzee in this house and time slips away faster than stepping on soap in a bathtub. Usually, I eat pasta, or potatoes. Too much starch not enough veg or protein. I discovered that my grocery store sells frozen chopped spinach tablespoon sized pillow shaped nuggets (in bags). Very easy to toss a few into my pasta and it's very tasty.

Garlic and Spinach Pasta

You need: spiral pasta (I use tricoloured and you need a textures pasta to grab the yumminess), a few cloves of minced garlic (minced), 2 tbsp olive oil, 3 or 4 spinach pillows, 1 tbsp butter, grated Parmesan, salt and pepper.

While you are boiling about a cup of dried pasta, saute garlic in olive oil until it's a pale tan, add butter and spinach. Cook until defrosted and hot. Drain pasta, toss pasta and spinach mixture into a bowl. Sprinkle with cheese and season to taste.

Delicious.

I still need to work on the meat/protein. I want to find a big bag of pre-cooked grilled chicken--like I said I want easy.

Labels: exercise, food

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1/24/10

Weird Dreams

The past couple days I have been having weird dreams...the kind that make you get out of bed because you can't go back to sleep. My dreams are something to pay attention to. If I have nightmares it's because there's something troubling me. Many times my dreams come true. Most times they are just fun and weird: me exploring things I like that I can't explore when I am awake (like my dreams about famouz bloggers).

I always have had recurring dreams, sort of like serials. I spend the first half of the dream confused because I can't remember what happened in the dream before. I haven't had a real night mare in YEARS...I only have one kind and it's harrowing. Even when I am awake I don't like thinking or talking about it, because it's just that disturbing. For awhile now, I've been having weird dreams about high school; always running late for class or realising that I have been skipping for weeks and I have SO MUCH to catch up on. I am always very afraid of what my teachers will say or do when I waltz in the classroom door.

Ever since I got married and had kids I have wondered am I dreaming? Will I wake up from this wonderous perfection?

This week has been extraordinarily tough. Almost as tough as Austin I, when I left home for the University of Texas at Austin. Back then a lot of illusions where shattered and hard truths where born out of the ashes. It was like a building falling down around me. This week felt like getting hit by a two by four, then before I could get up I get hit by a re-bar, and finally when I regain consciousness I get hit by a brick. Of course all that fun-ness let my deep buried rage (the WHY I named this blog "Black Heart") bubble over. It was a fun hurricane while it lasted let me tell you. Thank god I have amazing friends and an awesome husband.

So really it's not surprising that I have been having weird dreams and insomnia. But it did make me wonder about this whole what if I was really dreaming? And what if I woke up back in 1995 (or whenever) and I remembered everything? What if? And what if I could prove in small ways that what I dreamed actually happened. Things I know now about back then that I didn't know back then.

The mind boggles.

I tell you want, if I woke up and I was still in high school, I would dump early morning seminary and get to sleep before 11, because the sleep deprivation took nearly 10 years to recover from. It was 5 years before I could close my eyes without instantly falling asleep. I was like a bleeding parrot: darkness the room and zzzzzzzzzz.

Labels: dreams

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1/13/10

I have a WASHER!

(Cue: Choir of Angels)

It touched my driveway at 10.30 am CST and was put in it's puttin' place at 10.31 am!!! Woot!!!! About 30 minutes later, after I took pictures and plurked and emailed everyone my excitement, I loaded it with underwear-breaking it in nicely.

Lorelei tried to share my excitement she really did, but let's face it she's five, "It looks the same! This is dumb; I am going back to bed." She doesn't get grown ups.

But look at all the dials and OPTIONS!!

Last one only had Delicate, Normal, and Heavy Duty. Hot or Cold wash. Water level. I am dizzy with options!! So excited to have done laundry IN MY OWN house with dirty unwashed hair!! No getting dressed up to go to the laundry mat!! No carrying 8 baskets of laundry in and out of the car!!! Yay whoooooo!!!

Lorelei WAS excited, though, at being able to help me do laundry again. We got three loads done today. I've got like 6 more to do. But I will spread that out a bit. Don't want to break my new baby, um erm machine...

Last night, I was so excited about my washer, I hardly slept a wink--tossed and turned and had weird dreams. Had yet another weird famouz blogger dream, so this brings the total up to FIVE! Three with Dooce and now two with Derek Powazek. So strange...I didn't even read his blog before I went to bed (okay I read his wife's). But I went to bed thinking of something TOTALLY different (and boyo would it have been a MUCH better dream if it had been starring Asher). What's weird, is that all my famouz blogger dreams are weird day in the life dreams. I just happen to be at their house talking to them about random every day things. All I am waiting for now is my dream about Jason Kottke or Laurell K. Hamilton (although THAT would be an AWESOME dream). We could totally compare notes on our love of long haired men...hee hee.

Labels: bliss, dreams, Kid Antics, weirdness

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1/12/10

Found a Use for my Bum

So apparently, I have been doing my lunges wrong...I needed to use more butt and a little less leg. Thank god because my thighs were DYING! And we all know I want to build up my butt (I have none). I never thought even my bum would get toned and built up.

So the past few days of exercises have been a bit easier (or I am finally getting some benefit from my daily exercise). I am still sore pretty much every day though. Grin.

Tomorrow WE ARE GETTING OUR WASHER!!!! Woot!! I am so excited! I am sure pretty soon the excitement will wear off, but with not having a washer at home for so many months I am psyched! Imagine being able to wash laundry as soon as I need to! Not waiting, with piles of laundry!!

So excited I am going to take pictures.

This also means I can take down the tree and put some extra stuff in the garage (I had to clear space in the garage for the delivery man).

Labels: exercise

7:45:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 2 Comments

1/8/10

When Does It Get Fun?

It's still mind numbingly cold here. I don't think it got above freezing today....course it felt about ten degrees colder. SO weird! This is S. Texas! It never gets this cold--we are still in awe. One of my friends has an RV, so she drove down south to the border. It's still cold, but not freezing. Smart girl.

At Casa Birdwell, we have been staying under blankets watching TV, toasty warm. Although, I was a big girl and spent an hour exercising. I skipped yesterday (too cold). I am beginning to think that was a bad idea, since I fell into a ferocious mood in the evening. I am still wondering when it becomes enjoyable. Wednesday was murder; full of lunges and squats. My right thigh nearly revolted and decamped. I did a little lower body work today and my thighs aren't screaming-so maybe I AM getting into shape! Woot!

Tomorrow, Jamey's taking Micci to the Army Bowl Football game. He had thought we all were going to go, but I told him he was nuts as that falls squarely outside of my plans: How To Survive The Artic Blast of 2010. So he's just taking Micci.

Speaking of Micci: he tried running away today. Lately he'll get mad at me, accusing me of not loving him and threatening to run away. He'll draw me a picture with a sentence explaining himself. Usually it goes something like this, "No one loves me. I am going, going, going." I talk him down, assuring him of my undying love. Well today he tried this again, because I won't let him play Wii.

??!?!??

So I let him go.

He comes back less than a minute later. It's too cold. He'll run away later.

Yeah.

Yay for pre-adolescent mind games!!

Labels: exercise, Kid Antics

9:26:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 1 Comments

1/5/10

Sore!

One of my goals this year is to be more fit. Right now: I would be zombie food if San Antonio fell prey to Zombie hoardes. I would prolly be the FIRST victim (it's cause of my luscious and abundant brains atop a slow out of shape stick).

Right before I got sick, I started my first day of exercise. Then poof I got sick so I couldn't work out (I couldn't get OFF the couch!). Because of the good workout, I was sore and sick, so that just made things evil. Now, I am well (stuffy still, cedars high so it's to be expected) and I am on day two of The Daily Workout.

I am using The Biggest Loser Wii...the trainers talk you thru the exercises and plan your workouts based on what your fitness goals are. It's awesome. They also make sure I get enough calories (I have a bad habit of eating the wrong kind of calories or forgetting them all together). Bad Mommy moment: I am reminded that I haven't eaten yet when it's 3 pm and I am screaming at the kids, about to sell them to the nearest gypsy. But of course after a good hour work out (I also play balance games on Wii Fit), I am sore and zonked. I really like how The Biggest Loser brings out my competitive nature...must beat the bar!! Must earn stickers!!

I am a girl, it is ALWAYS about the stickers. Remember that...

I am a week away from getting my new washing machine!! And of course that means I need to once again clear a space in the garage so the delivery man can get the old machine and install the new one. I cleared the big stuff that accumulated from my clear out this summer. Tomorrow, I'll get to work sweeping out. I just hope delivery man doesn't mind towering cliffs made of boxes and crap. Grin.

Just in time too, because a lovely arctic front from Canada is hitting Thursday. The high will be in the low 40s and the lows in the low 20s. Ouch.

Labels: exercise, goals

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1/4/10

What's Up Doc?

The last days of 2009 and the beginning days of 2010, saw me struck down with the crud. Today is the first day I felt good and able to get off the couch. It's a good thing I decided to make it one of my goals this year to get fit. I usually get sick once a year, not twice in a season. Yuck.

Yeah, so goals. Being me and being raised LDS, I am very goal oriented. We spend 6 years as youth goal setting...lots and lot's of goals. I see them as a great way to get myself progressing as a human being. Swimming with the stream, instead of letting the stream carry me-if you get my drift. Goals gives us purpose and self worth...and lets us work on our rough patches.

I am continuing with my "Get Over It" theme--esp since I feel like I dropped the ball on it midway thru last year. What does "Get Over It" mean? After all goals without outlines and plans are just weak and pointless resolutions. Although I am pretty outgoing I have issues with doing things in front of others. Playing my tin whistle, for instance, speaking to strangers...like vlogging. I also need to get over my oh, I hate cleaning thing and yay I am a hippy with no structure. Yeah, I am a mom now and I need structure. So that plays into my individual set of goals.

Organise my home, family, and life. I am setting daily schedules, meal plans, and rewards. I am going to work with hubby on creating a family budget. I will de-clutter the house and keep it tidy.

I need to CHILL. I have become increasingly high strung. So I need to work on my Inner Birdy. That means more meditating and find what makes me upset and neutralizing them. I am hoping that the organization plans help that.

I need to get fit. We got a Wii Fit for Christmas. And so far I have had two nice work out sessions (spaced in between being sick, bleh) It has kinda turned me into a calorie counter, but I need to ensure I am getting enough calories for the exercise I do--I can't let myself LOSE weight.

I will continue to work on my writing, both non fiction and fiction. This blog used to be funny and interesting...I need to get that back. I am hoping that more writing will encourage me to be more open, less hermity, and more creative.

For the blog, hopefully all this new goals will have the nice side effect here on this blog: content that you actually WANT to read.

Labels: blog, goals

5:50:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 1 Comments

12/31/09

Can't Get Rid of Me

I didn't want to end 2009 leaving this blog hanging in limbo. As much as I am going thru spiritually and emotionally; as much as I want to wrap myself in a heavy woolen cloak and hide...it's really not who I am do keep it all inside and private. It's not true to my nature.

Above all else: to thine own self be true.

It's one of my fundamental, core beliefs. And to turn my back on my true nature would be detrimental to me in the long run. So you all have the good fortune to have access to all my blathering for another decade. Grin.

Now, to business. It's the last day of the whole fucking year (and to some the decade--there's minor disagreements if in fact 2010 is the end of the decade). So as I look back how did I do? Well, my main motto was "Get Over It!" I did reasonably well, and then towards the end I kind of lost my mojo and stopped trying to get over anything (this year I felt real fear towards the government and how it was going to affect my future). So 2010 will see me trying some more to Get Over It.

I also need to work on balance in my life, work and family. I let my verve for getting recognistion for my knitting skills over shadow caring for my family. Not that I neglected them, but they weren't high enough on the priority ladder either. So this next year...work on that.

I am also going to try to be a better blogger/writer. God knows I have been doing this for over a decade, I ought to be a pro. But I have let my myriad of issues get in the way. I will work on that.

News: Christmas was awesome. Perfect: relaxing and fufilling-full of my family. Right now though we are sick. It came on suddenly yesterday and has us all moaning on the couch. Van is sick too. But it picked the perfect time (no sarc really)...it dove tails in nicely with Jamey's work for the Army Bowl. So we can get it fixed AND paid for! Micci's in cub scouts; Jamey takes him so it's a fun thing the boys get to do together. Lorelei likes that we get to have a once a week girls night.

I wish everyone a happy and safe New Years! See ya on the flip side!

Labels: blog

6:21:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 2 Comments

12/11/09

Inside Mo Dubh Croi

Many years ago I had a dream about a lone tree on a hill and when the wind blew the tree sent white petals fluttering down to dance around me. It was the most wonderful and comforting dream. I think of it often...wondering if the tall tree I had dreamed even exists. Right now, despite years of blogging and sharing, I have little desire to continue. But I can not bear to stop this blogging or close this blog. For the last year, I have wanted to find that tree and hide in it and it's become harder and harder to share like I once did.

So I am at a cross roads while I try to figure this out.

My life is going really well right now...although I am at a cross roads in many things. I am in my thirties such is life. The kids are well and are starting to be really interesting people.

When I really figure out what I am going to do with this blog, I will come back and let it be known.

Labels: blog

1:43:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 0 Comments

11/12/09

Hermity

I have gotten enough emails to pull myself out of my self imposed hermitage. Sorry folks. I've been super busy and feeling blah and not up to expend the energy to post here. Yep, sucky blogger here.

So last I wrote, I was all pysched about the U2 concert. It was full of awesomeness. I am so glad that I was in possession of technology this time around. I took a done pf pictures with my point and shoot and made notes on my cell phone (so I could write an coherent post concert review).

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

First of all we were sitting in the old stick in the mud section. NO ONE would stand up! I know yer in your 40s and 50s but this is a concert you are supposed to stand up!

Okay, the opening band was Muse. I loved the first song, but eventually they just got loud (not in a good way) and annoying. After a while, it began to feel like torture. And in between the opening band and U2--I really wanted to push old folks in the front row OVER the edge. (We were in the second row of the section)

Quimby and I tried to stand up and dance and cheer, but we got yelled at. We FINALLY got everyone to stand at near the end at Where the Streets Have No Name.

Here's an awesome set list from the concert.

I was super excited that they played Ultra Violet. It's one of my favourite songs. It was such an awesome concert (even if it was tarnished by old idiots who think a U2 concert is for sitting).

Now, Phisto, Q...add to this as you will.

Labels: u2

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10/6/09

Recovered Enough

I had the best weekend. So great it's taken me a day or two to actually get around to blogging about it.

One of my good friends turned 30 on Sunday. MAJOR freakout. Which is to be expected its a big milestone. It took me an ENTIRE year to wrap my head around the fact that I was 30. Now I am approaching 32 and I am feeling the dread: I am NEARLY at my mid-30s. I am hoping I do or don't do anything embarrassing when I go to Dallas this weekend to see U2. Weeeeell, we all went out to a fancy restaurant Saturday to celebrate. Fancy enough that I didn't take pictures like I wanted to...because DUDE we had beautiful men in beautiful gaucho pants bringing us MEAT ON SWORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was Chauma Gaucha (it's a restaurant review, I don't think they have a website). Much wine was consumed (by others--don't like the stuff) and much fun was had. The meat was amazing. What you do is when you are ready for the meat (they have an awesome salad bar, that's TOTALLY not like Soup or Salad, it has cheeses and steamed beggies, a ROUND of parm!!!) you turn over a card and MEN DESCEND UPON YOU bearing swords full of MEAT. Perfectly cooked, succulent pieces of flesh...dude I was in HEAVEN. I told Jamey to save up for my birthday, THIS is where I want to go!!! I was able to have some raw steak which, I totally prefer over anything else. I have always been scared of asking for raw, but since they cut it for you right off the sword and you can SEE it and you get a slice at a time...it's not as scary. So good. I was in heaven. Meat Heaven.

We had so much fun the time kinda ran away from us (and some problems with the check) and we missed part two of my friend's special evening: ghost hunting downtown! And yes it would have been JUST like Ghost Hunters on SyFy. But we all promised we would try to do this later on this month.

So we went to a bar/grill called The Flying Saucer for beers and to count down to midnight.

I had planned on going home, but my friend was shell shocked by turning 30. (Strangely enough she didn't remember any of this. She asked me when she woke up in the morning why I was still there and no one else was. LOL) During the early morning it rained and rained and then the sky decided to upend its self and it POURED. God knows San Antonio needs the rain, but damn it was loud! And the storm knocked out a transformer...so we were without power for 6 hours.

Okay so where were my kids?

Anne was with us, celebrating out friend's birthday and we asked her husband to watch the kids (the dinner festivities started before J. got off work). And HE said hey why I don't watch the overnight as well. (Famous last words) Well it didn't go so well and my kids (along with Anne's grandson) turned into shit throwing monkeys. My two are now on restriction this week. Yay!! I guess because they got their arses chewed off, they have been angels since. Sort of...well as much as my two criminal geniuses can be. I found this on my wall last night:

Micci wanted to save their hair for posterity. And yes, it is Kittenhead's fur, Micci and Lorelei's hair, and Gina's fur. (And yes my wall looked like that BEFORE)

Sigh.

Despite the rain, the local soccer fields were dry, so Mic was able to have his soccer game last night. Not only did his team "win" (they don't keep score officially but you better believe the kids keep track!), but Micci was the goalie for the first time and for the first quarter. He did an awesome job and played hard. And passed out when we got home that evening.

Labels: birthday, Kid Antics, kid pics, Kid Praise

5:15:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 2 Comments

9/30/09

Cooking!

I have an AWESOME slow cooker...that I never use. I need to change that, esp. now with Micci's evening soccer practises, it would be smart to cook dinner ahead of time and eat as soon we all get back. (Don't worry Micci has a snack before practise...we all eat our main meals later than most.)

Tonight we are having Orange Chicken, from this awesome cooking blog: A Year of Slow Cooking. Her recipes are all gluten free as well, I gluten them up because luckily we don't have gluten issues in our house. I used the 4 quart pot (my lovely slow cooker has three pots to chose from: 2, 4, 6 quarts)

You brown the floured chicken first (for the color and flavour--slightly burned (aka browned) meat always tastes better). I added salt, pepper and garlic powder to the flour.

Then you plop that in the crock pot, ahem the slow cooker. And start making the sauce.

I altered the recipe a teeny bit, added a tad more sugar, pepper, a few drops of sesame seed oil, and a squirt of honey. I probably should have used less ketchup. There is a decided twang that I don't love because I do not like ketchup...but it might turn out better in the cooking.

Pour that all over the chicken-tossing it around. Now the recipe said pour over evenly, toss to coat. I am wondering if I have too much sauce and too little chicken? It asked for 1.5 pounds...I used about 4 breasts. Extra sauce is good--it'll be nice on the rice.

Then just set it for 6 hours on low and hopefully we will have a yummy dinner tonight with little fuss.

I am going to cook the rice when we get home and roast some zucchini and squash while the rice cooks. Jamey has been on a zucchini and squash kick lately. I am gonna try to make it taste better by roasting it and sprinkling some Parmesan over it.

I am writing this blog, just after I put everything in the pot. I even took pictures. Come back later on tonight and I'll have finished pics and reviews. I am hoping Mic won't give us a fuss.

Update: Looking back maybe I should have used the 2 quart...hopefully it'll still come out right...

Update: finished!

Yeah, I did use a too big pot. It cooked WAY too fast. And was very dry. Sigh. I think it was done (maybe a bit too done) when Jamey came home to pick us up for soccer practise. I switched it to "warm" and left. It kept on cooking and drying... Lesson learned: size matters!

But the roasted squash and zucchini came out great!

Labels: cooking, recipes

2:19:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 0 Comments

9/29/09

Bleh

Today was sucky. It was a Monday, so it's to be expected. I don't know why but I was in a CRABBY mood. Not PMS that was last week. Sigh.

Today, I have a headache. Yay! I lovely, nice throbbing sinus headache.

I went to the laundry mat yesterday so I have 4 baskets of clothes I do not want to fold and put away--on top of 2 I still need to put away from last week, no wait the week before. We did laundry before the Plague and consequently used less clothes.

I am thinking of promising myself a nap or some extra knitting time if I can just put away TWO baskets.

3:18:00 PM -- Email -- Link -- 0 Comments